April 2013
3 posts
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My Arrested Development Essay: Behind the Scenes
This past week, I was pleased to announce that an essay I’d written appeared on one of my favorite sites, The Bygone Bureau. All they do there is publish really smart, enjoyable nonfiction, so the fact that they thought my piece was BB material, had me thrilled. Since you can check the piece out at the site, I just thought I’d take this space to add two quick notes that might help...
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On Marathons and Tragedy
Marathons have always borne the weight of tragedy. Legend has it the first marathon runner was a Greek soldier who ran from Marathon to Athens to deliver news of a battlefield victory, only to collapse on the assembly floor and die once his task was completed.
I never ran the Boston Marathon, but I tried to. That is, I once set aside eight months to train harder than I’d ever trained in...
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Boston Marathon Attacks
As a human being, it’s hard to watch the early footage out of Boston and not be chilled by what just happened.
As a marathon runner, I can only add that the scene surrounding all marathons is chaotic and haphazard. Even under normal circumstances people are confused and frustrated looking for loved ones and friends in a maze of temporary fencing and security gating. Add on the fact that...
March 2013
2 posts
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This Week's Recommendations
1. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. If you plan to watch this 2011 adaptation starring Gary Oldman, you might want to keep your finger poised on the pause button and something to write on in order to diagram the schematics of the story. Otherwise, I fear you won’t have much luck understanding diddly-squat. Also, if your phone has a handy English-accent translator, that might help as well.
2....
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Thank you, Chinua Achebe
Not much to say here, other than Things Fall Apart is one of those rare books that sticks with me years (decades?!) after I first read it. In honor of the passing of a great writer, I pass along here my favorite quote from TFA, the words of which are terrifying, mysterious and true all at once:
“I am Evil Forest. I kill a man on the day that his life is sweetest to him.”
February 2013
2 posts
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Album Review: Love by Cloud Cult
Caution: This blog post is a conflict of interest. You wouldn’t ask the pope for an unbiased opinion on canonical doctrine. And you can’t expect me to give a fair review to a Cloud Cult album.
Being objective about Cloud Cult’s music is nearly impossible because listening to them isn’t so much an activity as a way of seeing the world. Being a fan of their music means...
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Sometimes you're the bird, but most of the time...
We came across this car on our walk through Hyde Park this morning and I couldn’t resist taking a picture. I’m not sure how much comment it needs, other than I felt a whole lot better about things after seeing it.
If anyone can think of a good caption, feel free to leave it in the comments section.
January 2013
2 posts
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Parks and Recreation: The Scene that Changed a...
All television shows evolve. It’s inevitable in 20-plus episodes a season. Sometimes that evolution is good; as characters develop and deepen, their stories grow to fill our imaginations and take on lives of their own. Other times change can be bad; the story runs off the rails and the show morphs into something we no longer find entertaining.
When Parks and Recreation first debuted in...
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Worst Rejection Letter Ever
It’s indulgent and unseemly for writers to talk about rejection — perhaps even bad luck in some circles. Listening to someone prattle on about it is like watching someone give a wedding toast where they only talk about themselves. And the fact is, 99.9% of the time, rejection is totally boring.
But every once in a while, a rejection letter comes along that’s noteworthy....
November 2012
2 posts
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A 2012 Post-Mortem: 7 Things I Know
One of my favorite political things to write is an election post-mortem - it’s that moment of reckoning when hopes and beliefs and suspicions run smack into reality and you’re left with the task of reconciling those differences. Even on elections when my side loses, I’ve enjoyed reading the fallen confetti like so many tea leaves.
This year, in particular, there are a number of...
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Election 2012: Some Predictions and What to Watch...
It’s almost over and, aside from some last minute get-out-the-vote efforts, the die has been cast. Based on what I’ve observed, here are my predictions for what we’ll see once the votes are in and the balloons have dropped:
NH - Obama
FL - Romney
VA - Romney
North Carolina - Romney
Wisconsin - Obama
Ohio - Obama
Iowa - Obama
Colorado - Obama
Nevada - Obama
If those...
October 2012
4 posts
15 tags
This Week in the 2012 Campaign: Beware the Bluff
There are no more cards to turn over and Romney’s holding a pair of sevens. When a poker player reaches this point, he really only has one option: Bluff.
That’s what’s happening in the presidential race this week.
Electoral obsessives will note that the Romney campaign (or, rather, its allies — an important distinction which I’ll get to in a minute) are going up...
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2012: Where the Presidential Race Now Stands
Obama supporters, stop breathing into that paper bag. Here’s what you need to keep in mind for the next 11 days:
1. The idea of momentum is a myth: Yes, Romney had a surge of support after the first debate, but that was mostly due to disaffected Republicans coming home. Those gains have subsided. Momentum, if it existed, would be clearly visible among a majority of polls. That’s not...
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Divining Debate #2
After watching and meditating upon Debate #2 I’m ready to call it a subtly powerful win for Obama. Here’s why:
Reason 1: The policy discussion was largely in Obama’s wheelhouse. Gone was the semantic taffy-pull over Simpson-Bowles. Gone was the he-said-he-said over tax policy studies. This debate dipped more into the social issues that Romney isn’t as fluent on and which...
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2012: Cold Comfort Edition
It’s been nearly a week since the first debate, and there’s not much I can say here that hasn’t already been covered within an inch of its life. There are two thoughts I can add, though, that might provide a dose of small comfort to disconsolate Dems. 1. I saw this coming a mile away: I know there’s no easy way to make this political self-rage call without sounding...
September 2012
3 posts
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NFL Owners Must Give In To Refs' Demands
Whatever amount of money the two sides in the NFL labor dispute are currently haggling over (and the relative pittance it amounts to compared to the billions of dollars generated by the league), the NFL must take immediate steps to end the lockout. The NFL owners have dug their heels in before during labor disputes and for the most part, they’ve gotten away with it. This time, I think...
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BREAKING NEWS: Assad Regime About to Fall
We here at Woodlawn Miscellany don’t to a lot of first-hand reporting, preferring instead to read the dreggy tea leaves of society in order to reach broader conclusions.
But something popped up in our inbox this morning which could not be ignored. Please read:
Greetings, I will like to formally introduce myself, I am Mrs. Asma al-Assad, First Lady of Syria which is the wife of Syria...
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Post-Convention Takeaway: This Will Be An...
Heading into convention season, the rap on this presidential race was that it’s a lightweight affair dealing mostly in platitudes and trivialities. People bemoaned the fact that this election - coming at a moment of tremendous instability and importance not only for our country but for the world - was mostly concerned with who stuck their foot in their mouth worse. And I tended to agree.
...
August 2012
2 posts
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Does Mitt Really Expect Us to Keep a Straight...
I was reading through an article online and came across this choice quote:
“I do think that the president’s campaign of personal vilification and demonization probably draws some people away from me,” Romney told USA Today in response to a question why he was no better than tied against Obama. “What has been the focus of the Obama ads?” Romney added to Politico. “Do they talk...
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Is Writing About Todd Akin Too Easy?
Yes, it is. And yet, it’s vitally important to do so. I’m not intending here to simply pile on because piling on can easily drift into dismissing him as some idiotic nutjob — which seems to be the current tactic adopted by his Republican compatriots. The fact is, Akin’s statement is so noxious, so virulent and subtly ingrained that it needs careful dissection and...
July 2012
5 posts
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Final Vineyard Update: Time To Leave The Nest
The vines have been progressing quite well. I’ve had to move them indoors a couple times to avoid some pretty gnarly thunderstorms, but overall they’re most definitely flourishing. They’re about to move to their new home in Montana this week, so this is the last update I’ll be providing on their progress.
You can see how broad the leaves are getting. Lots of sun to soak up...
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2012 Campaign: Why the (Tax Returns) Song Will...
Get ready to hear a lot more of what you’ve been hearing for the last few days from the Romney Camp. Get ready to hear more of the same from the Obama Camp for that matter as well.
Today, Obama and his allies released a trio of commercials shellacking Romney for not releasing his taxes. This barrage is the latest salvo in what has been slowly ratcheting pressure on Romney for more...
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Vineyard Update: Fecund Flora Flourishes!
There’s been a lot of growth since the last vine update. First off, I eased up with the watering and the vines responded quite positively. I’m on a pretty dedicated regimen of half a cup of water in the morning and half a cup in the evenings, with just a little more in the pot that has two vines growing in it.
Also, I got the fish fertilizer this week and gave them their first taste...
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Tanka Goes to Lake Michigan
The merciless heat finally broke here in Chicago, which made it a great morning for a visit to the lake. Our Great Pyrenees has been to the beach a few times now, but today the surf was a little rougher than usual and I think the last few days of crazy heat both managed to put him in a more excitable mood than usual. Here’s part of his visit:
Yeah, it was a pretty good day to be a dog at...
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The Day I Started a Vineyard (Pt. 2)
Things have been going well with the baby-vines. Growth has been consistent. Though I did notice earlier this week that a few of the leaves appeared to be turning a yellowish shade. Of course, this happens with every plant shortly after I start taking care of it. I’m an inveterate over-waterer, constantly hovering over every new plant, always thinking it needs more water. Fortunately, I know...
June 2012
3 posts
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The Day I Started A Vineyard (Maybe)
My family in Milwaukee has always had grapevines in their yards. The family lore holds that my grandfather brought these vines from the family vines back in Italy. Every time he’d move, he’d dig up the vines and bring them with him. The vines have been on his property in Wauwatosa for at least the last 50 years. The grapes they produced tasted as sweet as grape soda.
A couple years...
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Stuck in Quicksand, Politically Speaking
The most successful organisms are the most adaptable. This simple truism — while a staple of evolutionary biology — is equally applicable to organizational theory. As the pace of life increases and information dissemination hurtles forward, the need to keep up is vital for the survival of any affiliated group with even a notional common interest. Unfortunately, our country was designed...
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New Audio Story Is Up
The audio lit journal WordPlaySound has come out with a new short story of mine in its June issue. It’s a bit of an unorthodox piece for me, in the sense that the story is told from the first person perspective of a non-human narrator. Though it’s never explicitly stated in the piece, the narrator is, in fact, a bigfoot.
Now, I know it might come off sounding like kind of a stunt to...
May 2012
2 posts
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Newsflash: A Spot of Good News
I just got word that the audio short story I recorded for WordPlaySound has been accepted for publication next month. Actually, I’m not sure if publication is the proper term for a recording… Maybe I should say my audio short story drops next month. Anyway, the upshot is that people will be subjected my superfluously enunciated podcast diction and my nascent audio mixing skills. Should make...
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Your Own Voice Tells The Truth, If You Listen
A while ago a friend who runs the audio literary journal WordPlaySound asked me to try recording a story of mine and last week I finally had the time to sit down and give it a shot. Here are a few of the takeaways from the experience:
1. Garageband, which is the program I used to mix the audio, is incredibly complex but once you get a feel for it, it’s also maddeningly addictive. The...
April 2012
1 post
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In Memoriam: Niko Vesga-Cromley
It is with tremendous sadness that we announce the passing of Niko Vesga-Cromley. He went peacefully at 7:20 AM on Monday, April 16, 2012. It’s difficult to put our loss and sadness into words, but we can unreservedly say that Niko was a fighter. There’s no other way to describe the dog who went on to live a year and four months after the doctors gave him “six months at the...
March 2012
2 posts
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A Novel Soundtrack (Pt. 2): The Last Good...
Like any list, there’s always stuff you end up leaving out. In fact, just as I was putting the finishing touches on this post I realized I hadn’t included any Cloud Cult, which, if you know me, is a huge oversight. Regardless, I’m going to stick with the list I originally came up with. So..
Here’s Part 2 of my novel soundtrack.
9. 5 Years Time, Noah and the Whale
10....
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A Novel Soundtrack (Pt. 1): The Last Good...
As my manuscript wends its way through the twists and turns of the publication process, I’ve been toying with something I’ve always wanted to do: create a novel soundtrack. It’s one of those projects that starts small and should realistically take an hour at most, but then I got completely geeked-up over it and it’s ended up consuming way more time than is reasonable.
I...
February 2012
3 posts
7 tags
How 2008 Does Not Equal 2012
In 2008, as the Democratic primary ground on (and on and on) it was certainly a tough and sometimes bitter battle. But I also remember that, despite the fact that I was a big Obama supporter, I never felt a great deal of animus toward Clinton. In fact, as the summer wore on, I remember developing a newfound respect for the fact that she was able to soldier on in the face of near-certain defeat. At...
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Taking the Political Pulse: February Edition
It’s been a while since my last political post and the landscape has changed. Or has it?
I still think the shape of the GOP primary is intact. Romney leads in delegates, organization, and money. The Santorum surge, as near as I can tell, is partly a function of a discontented electorate and partly a function of the political media needing this thing to drag out a little longer. You can tell...
January 2012
7 posts
5 tags
A Short Story Update
A while back I posted a self-congratulatory item that dissected the first paragraph of a piece of writing I’d dug up and went into exhausting detail as to why I thought it was something worth working on.
After that post, I floundered along for a couple days of writing spaced out over the next few weeks. It was the kind of desultory exercise that happens when I have no idea what to do with...
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Last Night's Debate: The Friends Edition
Admission Time: Last night’s was the first Republican debate I watched from end to end. In general, the post-debate reactions surprised me because so many of the pundits scored it as a narrow victory for Romney. That’s not how I saw it. I saw it as a fairly clear victory for Gingrich. The part that people thought hurt Gingrich the most, the whole word-tangle over who was technically, a...
Bigfoot in Montana: What's Up With The Geico... →
While I happen to be a fan of the Cavemen and lament the cancellation of their short-lived sit-com, I do see this guy’s point.
montanabigfoot:
I was peering through the window of a log cabin recently when I happened to catch an ad for Geico car insurance which featured the Geico Cavemen. First off, I find it offensive the way the “Cavemen” are portrayed as sub-human, somehow inferior in...
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The State Of The 2012 Race, At This Second
Earlier today, one of my political pals asked me how I felt about the state of the presidential race. My response seemed halfway coherent, so I decided it’d be post-worthy. Here it is:
I used to think Romney was the most dangerous candidate for BHO. But I’ve since realized that, in fact, he’s a spectacularly bad candidate for this particular cycle. He’s just sooooo white,...
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What Does New Hampshire Mean?
Divining the results of these early primaries can be as accurate as entrail-reading. And yet interpret them we must, since some of the major narratives which will dominate the remainder of the election year are already being written. Here are 5 things I learned (or re-confirmed) last night from New Hampshire:
1. Romney is a weak candidate within his party: No matter what happens he will be unable...
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In Praise of Deliberate Living
With the start of the new year I can officially brag about one of my subtler accomplishments of 2011: I managed to make it through an entire year of shaving using disposable razors less than five times. All other shaves were done with vintage straight razors, most of which I restored from rusted hunks of metal and honed by hand.
Here’s an example of an Ebay purchase shortly after it...
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Self-Rage Call: Literary Edition
One of the purest joys of writing is to pull out an old story, brush off the accumulated dust, and discover something you wrote was actually worth a damn. I had just such a moment this morning when I re-examined an old, unfinished story. While I have no idea yet as to its overall merit or how on earth it’s going to end, the first two sentences were enough to make me feel energized about...
December 2011
3 posts
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It Could Be a Wonderful Life
Last night we held our annual viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life. Every year, I find myself more and more moved by this movie. Not by the saccharine-sweet ending, nor by the syrupy “every time a bell rings…” bit. After all, those parts only really happen in the last few minutes of the movie; whereas the bulk of the story is concerned with the mental decline of a man who is...
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2012: A New Hope Emerging
I haven’t done a political post in a while because it’s felt very much stuck in the doldrums for the last couple months. New “frontrunners” have emerged and then receded quite predictably in that time, but none of them seemed like real challengers to the Romney Express. Then, just as I hit the snooze button on this race, a new (new-old? oldish-new?) leader emerged. And...
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My Big Cheesy Final-Day Lecture
I always wanted to be one of those professors who gives students a cheesy rah-rah speech on the last day of class. This semester, I finally became that professor. (Beware: the cheese factor is extremely high!)
Literature 110 – Final Lecture: 7 Rules to Live By
By Professor G. Cromley
1. Don’t follow the crowd – Following the crowd is the most convenient thing to do. Blending in is the...
November 2011
6 posts
1 tag
zouchmagazine.com →
I’m super proud to have a new short story appearing in Zouch Magazine — a cool journal run by some great folks. Check it out if you get the chance.
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An Experiment in Fiction: The Bigfoot Project Pt....
The following is part of a project I’ve been noodling around with lately. (The lecture excerpt from Dr. Marcus Branard, which I posted on this site 10/8/11, was also part of this project.) What makes this section challenging, at least compared to most else I’ve written before, is that this strand of the story is told from the point of view of a Bigfoot. As a purely formal exercise,...
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Occupy Wall Street: Where Do We Go From Here?
Around the country, it appears as if the various municipal authorities have grown tired of the Occupy protests and chosen to use force to remove them. This strikes me as a strategic blunder since in most of these cities cold weather would have likely attritted the protests significantly. Regardless, it’s useful to ask ourselves what happens next.
Rage — like matter — cannot be...
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NCAA: A Criminal Organization
The title for this post springs from a conversation I had this past weekend on our guys’ trip to Kansas City. It was a moment of hyperbolic bar-talk wherein I was trying to be “controversial”, i.e. to piss everyone off. But since then, I’ve become more and more convinced of its veracity.
After all, what else would you call an entity where none of the profits reaped make it...
